Three weeks prior my dad had fallen and I went to check on him and he laid around all day in bed as I laid snuggled next to him. Shortly before I got ready to go home he got up and got dressed and had this sense of renewed energy about him. He sat me down and began to tell me about how much peace he felt when he passed out earlier that morning and how he wanted that peace back. Now my dad had been suffering with copd and on 24hour oxygen ever since covid and not to mention that he had just lost the love of his life of 61 years, my mom, seven months prior so I can understand how his peace had been broken.

Even though I understood that, the selfish part of me still wanted my dad. I had already lost my mom, I'm not ready to let go of my daddy. He sat down with my fiance and I and preceded to tell me he probably wouldn't be able to walk me down the aisle and I started to cry. He told me it was OK to cry but joy comes in the morning. He told me I had to slow down, I had to think about myself and take care of myself. He had pointers he gave to my fiance as well, but in that moment I felt like I was in the twilight zone.

Why???? Why so much pain and loss in such a short period of time? What is supposed to be one of the happiest times of my life, I'm getting married, my daughter is graduating high-school and things are coming together has now been convoluted with grief and loss.